HARD FIELDS, HARD GAME, HARD LOSS: BLAME BROOK SHERMAN

Buzzards,

I have some rather disturbing news from Monday’s game, a hard fought 15-10 loss to a great-spirited team from the Environmental Research Group. It was our first game at Anacostia park (official park motto: "Like a concrete slab, but with holes!"), and our second loss, dropping the Buzzards official record to 2-2. In reviewing the tapes, I have analyzed the offense, defense and chain-link fence and there is only one logical conclusion. It is Brook Sherman’s fault.

I know a lot of the players who came out today (another huge turnout with Regan, Rachel, Mariam, Megan (her first appearance!), Annette, Todd, Leroy, Ian (his first appearance), Jeff, Bill, Brad, Brian, Paul, Jason, Matt and Kevin) will find it hard to blame Brook for a defeat he didn't even participate in, but the evidence is incontrovertible. Brook, or “Brook” as many of us call him, is usually a reliable handler, but in Monday's game he did not complete a single pass. Even when he’s not handling, Brook can be counted on for sharp, smart cuts in the end-zone. Today, it seemed like he was in an entirely different zip code from the goal. I’m sorry to say it, but there’s no other explanation except to blame Brook Sherman.

Now many of you may point to exceptional defense and extraordinary athleticism by the team from the Environmental Research Group (“ERG”), or some, uh, less than complete passes thrown pretty much across the board. I’m sticking with blaming Brook. Hey, if it works, we can Blame Brook for a whole host of things: poor internet connectivity, global climate change and lack of sesame chicken in the buffet. So until our next game (Friday at the Polo Fields against the Peace Corps/ Agency for International Development, 6:30, practice @ 5:45), remember: rest up, be ready to play hard, and blame Brook Sherman.