Buzzard Banter

Actual Buzzard email chain:

There are some days when the email dialogue about the game or about Ultimate and other Buzzards is the most entertaining thing that could be put in this blog…

In that vain, I offer you the following from this morning’s discussion.

Bill: “Got another request to move the game time again today. Would 1145 or 1200 work as well for everybody who has already responded?”

Todd: “I’m in.”

Rodney: “Are you actually playing today?”

Todd: “It depends on whether my new office chief, who's in for the week, feels the need to learn exactly what it is I do as I'm packing up my gym bag. I opted against my first impression being, "Sorry, I'm kinda busy right now. Why don't you go ahead and come back later."

Thunder: “Your response should have been to drag the new office chief out to the playing field. Once he's addicted, it's only a matter of time before the whole office if out there.”

Guillermo: “Yea, I agree. You should have said ‘You want to learn exactly what I do? Come learn the finer points of discreetly inhibiting your opponents' verticality and how to get the most distance on the "rolling pull" ‘.

Rodney: “Isn't making excuses against new guy rule #2?

Bill: “Amendment to the "no excuse" rule. You're not allowed to spout that rule if you've asked him why he wasn't there! The rule is in place to keep people from offering excuses for not coming out in the first place...if you don’t want to know don't ask old man.”


Thunder: “Let's see, the rules of Buzzard's Point Ultimate Club:

1st RULE: You do talk about ULTIMATE.
2nd RULE: You DO talk about ULTIMATE.
3rd RULE: If enough players are available, there will be "game on".
4th RULE: Only one defender on the marker.
5th RULE: One disc at a time.
6th RULE: Must wear a penny, must wear shoes.
7th RULE: Game will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first game of ULTIMATE, you HAVE to pull.

I guess we could add the "no excuses" rule.

Bill: “In the "new guy" chronology of players...who in the world gave Thunder sanctioning authority? You're a relative babe to this game there big guy. Else you would know that pinnies and shoes are always optional and that the defender is the marker”.

Thunder: “I humbly beseech your forgiveness, O master of the pitch, the blog, and the hammer.”

Todd, reconsidering his first response: “"Sir, I'd love to go through the ins and outs of our strategic plan right now, but I think my contribution to the Coast Guard would be much better summarized by my dropping a 30-yard hammer throw to you in the end zone. Suit up."

Tom: “As an office chief, I can see where that "can do" attitude would be positively reflected in your next performance appraisal, young man; assuming the hammer throw was successful, that is.”

Rodney: “That quite the title you have there Tom on your auto signature!”

Tom: “I’m a Renaissance Man”.

Phil: “I'm in for whenever, and I really mean that. (sorry if that had already been said, I'm just getting going this morning.)

Rodney: “Freaking Phil, a day late and dollar short!”

Witness Protection Services Required

Submitted by Guillermo

The sun reappeared yesterday and the Buzzards took to the field after too many days off. As you might have expected with the deluge of rain we’ve had, the field was a bit “spongy” in places. We had an odd number yesterday of 5 on 4 because Todd inexplicably did not show up after RSVPing for the game. We thought maybe he just missed the time change but when he didn’t come out after a half hour we assume he got sucked into some kind of meeting.

Too bad too, because the gold team desperately needed him yesterday. The green team was the 4-man team and Bryan, Bob, Rodney & Tom had a great game. Bob was showing bursts of speed normally only seen in our less “seasoned” players, Rodney was swatting discs out of the air on defense, and Tom was making throws that frankly, I haven’t seen Tom make before. Swinny was enjoying being surrounded by the talent yesterday and they pretty much mopped up the field with the extra-manned gold team. I would tell you who was on that team but they have been put in the Federal Witness Protection program after yesterday’s performance.

I will tell you they were all regular players who have all seen better days. The bulk of the problem yesterday seemed to center around being able to actually complete a pass…often the first. The defense wasn’t too bad. The scores being made by green were, for the most part, earned by just good play by them but gold’s offense was…well offensive. They actually found some scores very late in the game and connected on a couple long plays but it was a long time coming and generally just had the effect of winning the West Virginia primary at the end of a long campaign season when you’re insurmountably behind in the delegate count.

We’re hoping for a better showing today. It’s supposed to be another perfect weather day, sunny, 70 degrees, barely any wind. How can you not want to come out and throw the disc around? How could you possibly do any worse then the gold throwers yesterday? Bring a friend. And if they look familiar, but have a different name, you’ll know they may have been one of the players from yesterday…don’t give up their identity, it’s for their own good.